Looks like He was right

This has been one of the most difficult blogs I have ever written. I have started writing it many times, erase it and start over. Maybe it is because my mind hasn't finished comprehending what happened last week. Maybe it's because what happened last week isn't over. If you have read most people's blogs you know what we did in Mexico City so I won't rehash day by day what took place.

This trip was as much for me as it was for the people of Mexico City. There was a reason I was on this trip...I didn't even really want to go on it to tell you the truth. Mike called and said I really think you should come with us and I was like yeah ok I guess. I wasn't too excited about going and the trip came up on us pretty quick. Immediately after we left I knew it was the right thing to do and I was glad I went.

I had been going through alot of stuff in my life, like questioning my faith, whether or not I grew up doing the right things or if I was doing the right things now. Six months ago I set out on a quest to determine whether or not I wanted this new life, something it seemed the rest of the world did or should I stick with where I was at trying to follow God. I lost focus of what was important and turned to the world to find joy and happiness. Of course it wasn't there and I was pretty much even more miserable, even though I don't think I showed too much of it.

I turned to pretty much anything but God really. I suppose I was mad at Him, because I felt like He took away this relationship that I thought was really good and the reason it ended was because I didn't do certain "worldly" things. I had to see what this other life was like. I let one person decide everything about my life.

So I continue to search for anything new to make me happy and it doesn't happen. Finally, though, I start to come back around and things start to look up. Then this trip happens and totally changes my outlook on life. Suddenly I am the lucky one who isn't tied down and can drop everything and go on mission trips or even move somewhere else. The very thing that I thought would have brought me happiness, would have prevented me from this trip.

That is not to say that you can live your life for these trips and get happiness from them. God has to be there and He was with us on this trip. I am also not saying that I want to be single forever either, but at least while I am, I will use my time wisely and not worry about being in a relationship.

I will agree that many of the lessons I needed to learn could not have happened unless God broke me down to the core, showed me that other things won't make me happy except Him, and then brought me back to Him with the same love as He had before. It is amazing the love He has and the patience as well for His people.

The trip has changed me in other ways as well. It didn't just get me over some crap that I had in my life, it has given me a love and desire to help the Mexican people, not just there, but here too. Hopefully our group or even our church will find ways to minister to them. The people down there are so passionate when they worship, they are interested in people relationships, not time or schedules. They aren't perfect and they deal with demons that we can't imagine here, but we deal with things that they have mastered.

I do not want this fire to go out. I have a resolve to learn the Spanish language. I have a desire to go back to Mexico. I have a desire to really dive back into the church I go to here. I have been really lazy in my church lately...a church that had enough faith in me to support my trip to Mexico. I have to quit making excuses and decide today whether or not I am going to serve God. Yeah, I know I am going to mess up and I want to know it.

By the way, the trip wasn't all about me...I think our group did a wonderful job laying the foundation for God's Spirit to take hold of that country. It wasn't that we were that great, we just allowed God to use us. I hope you will keep that country in your prayers.

Many of you know of the blog I wrote in April. I took it off Myspace because I was tired of sending the wrong message. Yes some things about me have changed, but they are things that won't interfere with my relationship with God. I still have the text of that blog saved incase I relapse, then I can get that back out and remember that I don't want to go back there.

The trip wasn't all serious as there were many classic lines delivered. Below are some of the best lines/stories of the trip.

"That wave is muy malo" - Kipp to a group of Mexican Students

"Is this talk going to be a Q&A?" - Mike to Beth about food being the best part of her trip - then giving her account of the trip at a particular persons church.

"Oh yeah lets go buy more coffee at this place because it has a trendy logo on it so we will look cool" - Kipp talking about people who buy Starbucks coffee

"She is in High School" - Me talking about the girl I sat beside on the plane ride home - I swear she looked older from a distance. A side note - she was drinking coffee from a cup with a trendy logo on it

Most Mexicans thought Kipp was Will Ferrell, his "ha ha ha" laugh was funny and he tried to spread "Oh here we go" down there too --- the best we could come up with was "Aqui vamos". He got a few "El es boh's" too

Thanks for reading

~fin